How to film the “I lost all our money” trading prank

Who this prank is safe on, and who it isn’t

Our fake trading app prank guide, the gains version, says to keep the claim on your own imaginary money, because a claim about shared money produces panic, not a laugh. A loss prank pushes against that, so it runs on a shorter fuse: the reveal comes in the same room, in the same scene, within a minute or two, on someone who knows you well. They never leave, never pick up their own phone, never act on what they’ve seen. It still lands best when the money is yours to lose; once it’s “ours”, halve the fuse.

Skip it with anyone who gets anxious about money, in a home under real financial strain (a debt, a missed payment, a job at risk), and whenever children can hear. Don’t run it by text, call or screenshot: you can’t see their face, and you can’t stop them phoning the bank or a parent.

And the screen is a prop, never a reason. Nobody is asked for money because of it, and it isn’t evidence of anything: not for a lender, a landlord or a court, and not to explain where real money went. Our acceptable use policy covers that side.

What the app shows for a loss, and what it doesn’t

Pozer’s Robinhood-style trading app, called Ticker in the editor, opens on Investing: the account’s total, a Today line, a chart, a row of windows from LIVE to 1Y, Buying power and your Holdings. When the account is down on the day, the Today line reads ▼, the amount and the percentage in orange-red, and on LIVE and 1D the chart and the window row turn with it. Each holding that fell gets an orange-red pill. Building it, installing it and filming it are free.

What it lacks decides your story. There’s no all-time return, no cost basis and no order history: the only loss the app prints is today’s. There’s no market feed, so nothing ticks, and no options or margin, so no margin call. The story this screen can carry is “it happened today”: one stock, one terrible morning.

Build the loss backwards from the line you’ll say

Neither the total nor the Today line is a field. Both are worked out from Positions and Buying power, so start with the sentence and work back.

1. Pick the sum you’ll say out loud. Here, thirty-eight thousand.
2. Put it in one invented stock, and remove the other rows. A spread of large companies doesn’t lose most of its value in a morning; one small stock can. A real ticker can be checked on their own phone in ten seconds, so make one up and search it first, in case it’s somebody’s listing. This guide uses PKLZ.
3. Set yesterday’s price and today’s. Say $2.71 and $0.31. Type 0.31 in Price and −88.56 in Day %, which is 0.31 ÷ 2.71, less one, as a percentage.
4. Shares are the sum divided by yesterday’s price. 14,000 at $2.71 is $37,940.00.
5. Leave scraps in Buying power, to the cent. $61.18, not $0.00 and not $50.00.

Investing now reads $4,401.18, ▼ $33,597.06 (88.42%) Today. Add the two and you’re back at $37,998.24, the number you said. The percentage sits just under the stock’s own 88.56% because it’s measured against the whole account, cash included. Tap PKLZ and its page agrees: $0.31, ▼ $2.40 (88.56%) Today, over 14,000 shares with a Market value of $4,340.00.

Make the chart fall on every window

On LIVE and 1D the fall comes free: the line is held to the direction of the Today figure, over a dotted rule at yesterday’s close. It shows direction, not size, so the number does the shouting.

The longer windows are the trap. 1W to 1Y are drawn from the Trend bars in the editor’s Chart group, and the default finishes its year near its high: tap 1Y and a green line climbs under an orange-red number. The only shortcuts under the bars are trend up and randomize, so drag the last bar almost to the floor. Every window now ends in a fall and draws orange-red, on Investing and on the stock’s own page, which shares the Trend.

1Y reads best: a year of wandering, then a cliff at the right edge. On 1W the same bar fills the last third of the chart and reads as a two-day slide, so for a “this morning” story, point at 1D or 1Y.

Five ways in, and where each reveal lands

“Can you read me the number at the top? I can’t look.”

For a partner. They hold the phone and say it out loud, which beats anything you could say. Let them reach the Today line, then ask which stock it is. Tapping the row opens the stock’s page, where the Company field, which the Holdings list never shows, is the big title. Type the reveal into it: this guide’s is Gotcha Holdings. Keep it short; a long name is cut off with an ellipsis. In the set-ups below, the stock’s page is on screen before the reveal, so give Company a plain name for those.

“I’m getting out. Watch.”

You keep the phone. Tap PKLZ, tap Sell • $0.31, type 14000 and tap Sell. A tick draws itself over FILLED and −14,000 sh, and the receipt lists Proceeds of $4,340.00. It stays until you tap Done, so turn the phone round on that line: thirty-eight thousand in, four thousand three hundred out. That’s where you tell them.

“I can win it back.”

The worst thing to say next, and the smallest tap. Tap Buy • $0.31, type 197 and tap Buy. The receipt’s Cost line reads $61.07, and it is the reveal: you’re winning it back with sixty-one dollars. Type 200 and the buying power can’t cover it, so the receipt grows an Unfilled line.

“How long does a stock take to come back?”

For a parent, asked casually with the phone face up on the table. They’ll pick it up and wander: Retirement reads Contributions this year $0.00 over a ring saying No account yet, and Cash shows Withdrawable cash of $61.18. The reveal comes early here. A parent’s next move is to offer help, and the moment they do, or reach for their own phone, it’s over and you say so.

“You know this stuff. Tell me it comes back.”

For the friend who trades, and the reason for the arithmetic above. He’ll switch windows, open the stock and check that $0.31 plus $2.40 is $2.71. When he asks what PKLZ even is, hold two fingers still on the screen, tap Edit when it appears, and let him watch you retype the price.

Scripted with someone who’s in on it, this is a skit: see day trading skit ideas.

Before you press record

• Install it and open it once. The fake stock app guide has the steps. The first time the installed app opens for you, Edit shows itself with a hint for a few seconds, so open it before filming. On iPhone the first two-finger hold asks for your email and a code instead; do that beforehand too.
• Open the stock’s page on the phone. The editor’s preview can’t, so check the Company title there.
• Start from a fresh launch. The app opens on Investing with 1D selected. If you rehearsed the sell, the row reads 0 shares beside a $0 pill until you tap Reset to published values in Edit.
• Frame them, not the phone. Roll before the opening line. Nothing on the screen moves by itself, so a screen insert filmed afterwards matches to the cent.
• Silence the phone, and leave alerts off. This app’s alerts only announce gains, and each one raises a stock’s price when the app is next on screen.
• Know what the free tier shows. Free apps carry SIMULATED · POZER.COM in small print under the Today figure, under the stock’s day move, on the other tabs and on every order receipt. Here that’s useful: it’s the quickest reveal on the phone. Pro at US$12.99/mo removes it.

What gives a loss prank away

1. A real company at a price they can check on their own phone.
2. A sum said out loud that isn’t the total plus today’s loss.
3. A story about months of losing, under a line that says Today.
4. The default Trend, which draws a rising green line on 1Y.
5. A Price of $0.00. With no close to work back to, the loss drops out and the Today line reads ▲ $0.00 (0.00%). Stop at a few cents.
6. Their thumb on Withdraw, Deposit or Statements & history, none of which respond.

End it well

Decide the last line before the first. A minute or two is the ceiling, and three things end it sooner: they reach for their own phone, they offer money or start working out what to sell, or they go quiet instead of loud. Then say it plainly — it’s a prop, nothing happened to the money — and show them: the Company title, or Edit and a price changing under your thumb.

Don’t cut on the scream. Stay in the shot while they’re annoyed with you; that part is what makes it a prank and not a video of someone being frightened. Ask before you post it, and take no for an answer. And don’t run it on the same person twice.

For a price that falls between two takes, the reaction video guide has the method in reverse.